On impostor syndrome and new projects

Do you get uncomfortable when a colleague or manager praises you for a job well done? How about, do you question your abilities and are worried that someday, someone will find out that you’re not as competent as they think you are? Do you shy away from complicated new projects? Your self-doubt and negative self-perception have made it difficult for you to acknowledge your achievements and capabilities – you may find it hard to “get out of your own way”. Impostor syndrome is not new to you and is worthy of a book to itself. Here I will look at how we can dampen down the distracting mental froth that bubbles up around getting started on something new.

Impostor syndrome: checklist

1. Self-doubt: Do you often doubt your abilities and accomplishments, despite having evidence of your success?
2. Perfectionism: Do you set unrealistic standards for yourself and constantly strive for perfection?
3. Fear of being exposed: Do you fear that others will find out that you’re not as competent as they believe you to be?
4. Minimizing successes: Do you downplay or dismiss your achievements, attributing them to luck or external factors? As if you’re not “supposed” to suceed?
5. Stress and anxiety: Are you constantly anxious about being found out as an impostor?

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If you answered yes to several of these questions, it is possible that you are experiencing impostor syndrome. Firstly, you already knew that. Secondly, it is not doom and gloom. Like the stress curve, a feeling of “I’m not supposed to be here” can be a helpful motivator in building content and credibility in a new area.

However, that quickly slides from a helpful stressor to a joy-sucking void faster than it is possible to cope with. Cope with it we must. Most of you live your life in projects be they short sprints or parallel multi-year initiatives. There is always something new coming up and impostor syndrome can rear its head right here. I used to experience it most acutely when new work started, the tightness in my stomach and the flushing of my features. “I can’t do this, where do I start, what is the answer, this is where I am found out!” Time to fight back, but it isn’t easy.

Solving for new projects

It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out nor more doubtful of success nor more dangerous to handle than to initiate a new order of things.

Machiavelli

After all, impostor syndrome is what you’ve always known. It feels familiar and has been with you so long that it gives you a sense of security. Making a change can be daunting. If you face up and dampen down the noise, you worry then about what you have missed out on if only you had done so earlier. As I’m sure you’re aware by now, the knowing is less the battle but the doing. Nonetheless, no time like the present to practice some new behaviours

Consider this apocryphal snippet about Napoleon, thinking and looking to the future, not the past. Napoleon once said he wished his troops to march in the shade during the hot French summer and mandated tree-lined boulevards be built across the country. A civil servant said it would take years to plant and then wait for the trees to grow, thus ruling it pointless. Napoleons answer? We had better get planting then – the best day to start was yesterday, and the second best is today.

Tackling Impostor syndrome

• Don’t hide but acknowledge feelings, reframe and seek support. It is crucial to recognise that these feelings of self-doubt and insecurity are normal and that they don’t reflect your abilities or worth as a person. Listen to yourself with compassion, not frustration. Allow yourself to fully immerse yourself in the uncomfortable feelings, for two reasons. Firstly you will realise as you wade through this self-hate that there is not much depth here, more you are afraid of being afraid but the content is quite shallow. Secondly, you can give voice to what you feel to better share it with others. Talking it through exactly how you are worried and about what will help start both catharsis and overcoming as you realise how fragile this monster is. If you lack a sounding board in the immediate term try to catch yourself and keep trying to reframe from “I don’t know enough to do this project” to “I am capable of learning what I need to know to succeed in this project.”

• Do the reading and be willing to get called out – take the fight to the syndrome, if it says you don’t know enough or don’t have the skills to succeed then do the heavy lifting to educate yourself on the new topic. At worst you’ll have a fair and valid understanding of the hill you need to climb. More likely you will reaffirm your own competency and have a clear understanding of why you will flourish in this new opportunity. Test your capabilities by preparing yourself, how you might get challenged or questioned, what would you say and mentally role-play how the situation might play out. Talk this through with your trusted advisor.

• Feedback, grow, and celebrate success – starting is the hardest part, but you can get feedback even before that, start your prep and be transparent about where you are to get immediate feedback. Take the plunge and turn up the volume on your growth mindset to realise you will more likely have a learning moment than getting fired. Fail fast and fail often to get actual experience not the melodrama in your head. As I say above, listen with compassion but also recognise your little and big wins. Celebrate each little milestone be it planning, prep, challenging content, or overcoming your negative self-talk. Whatever it may be recognise the wins and celebrate even if just a mental self-high five!

Getting going

Combatting impostor syndrome means becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable. While it may be tempting to avoid new experiences, try to embrace the unknown. In the long run, the psychological stress you put yourself under is a huge weight compared to getting outside your comfort zone. The power of positive thinking here may sound trite but it is effective, keep adding to that list of achievements to use as the big stick to beat around the head of impostor syndrome.

Finally, a reflective thought on the vast depths of inner knowledge we possess on ourselves, on our thoughts, fears, hesitations and perceived weaknesses. How this seems to contrast with those with a cool veneer, the obvious and seemingly effortless success – what the renaissance courtiers termed “sprezzatura“.

The basic mistake we make is assuming that the inner life of the successful is vastly different from ours. This is not the case, it is just that our immediate perspective precludes considering just how much effort is going in to the demonstration of that vaunted quality, appearing normal.